I have Cerebral
Palsy. My body gives me hard a time. It
doesn’t want to do what I want it to do. My body is stiff because my muscles are tight.
My doctor told me about the baclofen pump. She told me it will help me move
better and control my body. I scheduled an appointment to do the surgery to get
the pump. On September 9, 2009, I had the surgery to put my pump in my body.
After the surgery my body got more stiff instead of less stiff. I had to go
through a lot of therapy. I had to take more medicine. I’m better now but I
still have a hard time making my body do what I want it to do. I’m not happy
because the pump was supposed to calm my muscles down and it didn’t do that.
Sometimes when I can’t do things I get angry. Sometimes I want to cry but I
don’t because it’s not worth it.
I'm so sorry you're going through all of that, and I struggle to write something to you. Although I have no clue what being in your position is like I have suffered through a lot of pain in life too. I was raised in an abusive system then left in the world on my own at 17 with a one-year-old son. I didn't think I'd make it. Sometimes I don't think my kids will survive and my heart can't do anything but ache. The only comfort I have in this world is other hurt souls like mine. My first job, at 17, was working with people like you. I swear it was the first time I felt I had true friends, being in pain feels so alone; wether it is physical or emotional. But they understood I deserved to be loved just like I understood they deserved to be treated like everybody else. Hopefully we can start to talk to each other. Instead of getting angry we can write it out and work through it, together!
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